They say men build houses. But a house is not a home. Women build homes.

I come from a country where 3 in every 5 homes are headed by a woman who has to play a mother and father figure all her life. Growing up I wasn’t any different. Let me share what makes my mum worth celebrating this day.

Memories are still fresh when she started a pancake and cassava chips business which barely lasted a month. So weak and sick she would cry in pain all night yet wake up 5 am–as we children still enjoyed our sleep–to go buy tomatoes, onions and mukene (fish) which she sold on the veranda.    But nobody cared to buy because nobody wanted to come close to a woman rumored to be HIV positive.   Soon it was all rotten. Still she never gave up.

I recall the day she was sick but left us in the house, braved the rain and walked a long distance just to borrow a little money from a friend so we wouldn’t starve another day.   She returned soaked wet with no money in her hands.    But at least she tried.  We slept hungry.

Let me share what makes my mum worth celebrating this day.

I watched as people disrespected her and threw insults at her in our face and we sat so defenseless because we had no man to stand in the gap and raise his voice but still with her we felt a sense of protection. Not once, not twice she took the blame for our wrong doings and even with the little strength she had she made sure she never lost her obligation in being a mother and father.

I often sat down and wondered how we got there. What happened to our commuter taxis?  What happened to the over 20 people we hosted in our house in a month?   What happened to the people that took pride in us calling them aunty but now shied away or cautioned us not to?

It is now that I appreciate the woman that saved up two months just to have transport to come visit me with no pocket money, the woman that got us all we wanted when she got her life back in place, the woman that believed in all I ever wanted to do and be and supported me in the dreams I had even when nobody saw them coming, the woman that still called me son when the whole world judged me by my attitude and way of life, the woman that came from her death bed to travelling the world giving hope to those on their death beds.

I’m proud I was raised by you, Mum, you deserve to be celebrated.

Living with HIV/AIDS is a journey started by many kids knowingly or unknowingly. To some, it was mythical truth they realized later to be real. Mine started unknowingly. At the age of 11, the truth was uncoated for me to taste its bitterness, it felt like the world came crippling down on my head. Being HIV positive at that age was the last thing I ever thought of. I hated and blamed everything and everyone I could; lived indoors in a community that made life more complicated by pointing fingers, the ones who could have given me counsel at school–my teachers–always lit fire on me by calling me names which other children adopted.

You fought hard in changing schools for me so I could find comfort. Even when friends felt I was worthless, you helped me hold my head up and fight the challenge of living with HIV/AIDS; educated me that the world saw to live longer as hopeless, you showed and taught me the real meaning of love and life; life with a purpose.

You forewent your experience with HIV and became my first and best counselor ever, my guide and dear friend. You gave the whole of yourself to me; I am because you showed me the Way;  Christ Jesus who has become a close friend, my hope of glory.

You single handedly raised me into the man that I have grown to be, full of hope and life. May you live to see me at your age today.  I love you mama. You are the best!!! Happy mama’s day!!!

Mum, you always said our case was/is with God and he will pass the judgment in our favor since we are innocent; I did not understand then, but now I do understand. I can freely say “I was blind, but now see; I was dead but now I am alive!” You single handedly raised me into the man that I have grown to be, full of hope and life. May you live to see me at your age today.  I love you mama. You are the best!!! Happy mama’s day!!!

Mother’s Day

I am what I am not because I was what I am.

It is a journey many have not succeeded to complete

It took love, dedication and a lot of sacrifices to reach me here

My well-being and happiness were birthed from her tiring & sweat

Some had to forego luxury and pride to see me smile

Shielded me from the bitter reality of life and prepared me for it

She spent sleepless nights when I was ill

Swallowed the pain to see me smile,

Happy Mother’s day.

Myth # 2 – HIV/AIDS is Not an Issue in the United States

In the course of the HIV/AIDS pandemic, we in the United States have been very fortunate to have a government that made HIV/AIDS a primary focus in the epidemic’s early days; relatively easy access to great health care; and widespread availability of each new generation of HIV treatment.   Unlike many nations where HIV transmission went virtually unchecked for the pandemic’s first decade or more, the US has been spared the high rates of infection, staggering numbers of deaths, and exploding number of children orphaned by HIV that have been recorded around the globe.

Unfortunately this has led many Americans to believe that HIV/AIDS is not an issue in the US.  That is not the case.    Consider the following:

– More than 1.2 million people in the US are living with HIV infection.

– Nearly 1 in 8 (12.8%) of HIV infected Americans are unaware of their infection.

– Over the past decade, the number of people living with HIV has increased.

– The estimated number of new HIV infections has remained stable in recent years at about 50,000 new infections annually.

– Although men who have sex with men represent about 4% of the US male population, they accounted for 78% of new HIV infections among men and 63% of all new infections.

– New HIV infections among women are primarily attributed to heterosexual contact (84% in 2010) or injection drug use (16% in 2010).

– African Americans represent approximately 12% of the US population, but accounted for 44% of new HIV infections in 2010.

– Hispanic/Latinos represented 16% of the US population but accounted for 21% of new HIV infections i

– About 1 in 4 new infections in the US is among youth ages 13-24. Most do not know they are infected, are not getting treated, and can unknowingly pass the virus on to others.

Lest we Americans become too complacent about this very real HIV issue within our borders, consider that some of our urban areas have HIV rates that exceed some African nations.

It is long past time for Americans to acknowledge that we have not done as well at ending our own HIV/AIDS epidemic as many other nations around the globe.     Next time your hear someone repeat the myth that there is not HIV/AIDS issue in the US, please explain the real facts.

Source:   CDC:   US Statistics:   HIV in the United States

Myth # 1 – The HIV/AIDS Pandemic is Under Control & Going Away

Many believe that the incredible investment of funds to fight HIV/AIDS and the great strides have been made in effective HIV/AIDS treatment mean the pandemic is under control and waning.    After more than 30 years HIV/AIDS is rarely in the news, which also leads to the perception that it is no longer an issue.

While it is true that much progress has been made in the global fight against the pandemic, reality is there is much more to be done before we’ve won the war.

–  Consider the following:

– Every week, nearly 35,000 people are infected with HIV globally:

– Young people ages 15-24 account for about 30% of new infections.

– In sub-Saharan Africa young women account for 63% of young people living with HIV.

– In 2014, there were 220,000 new infections among children.

–  While HIV incidence has declined by 50% since its peak in sub-Saharan Africa, the region’s population has increased by 340 million during the same time period.  Africa has the world’s youngest population with 200 million people between ages 15 and 24—a time when they are most susceptible to HIV infection.

–  New HIV infections globally have declined by 35% since 2000.   In 61 countries new HIV infections have decreased more than 20%.    Still, there were 2 million new infections in 2015, or about 5,600 new infections per day.

–  Although HIV testing capacity has increased over time allowing more people to learn their status, nearly half of all people with HIV are still unaware they are infected.

–  Globally 30 countries account for more than 80% of the world’s new HIV infections.

In 2014, UNAIDS data showed the world a five-year window (2015 – 2020) to accomplish a fast-track response which would change the pandemic’s course.    If we succeed, the world will be on track to end HIV infections by 2030.   If we don’t, HIV infections will continue to rise to previous levels; the opportunity to end HIV infections lost.

We do have the change to end HIV infections globally, that has not happened yet.    We must all continue to be vigilant and engaged if we hope to see an HIV-free generation become reality in our lifetimes.

Sources:  PEPFAR 2016 Annual Report to Congress; UNAIDS Fast Track: Ending the AIDS Epidemic by 2030; The Henry Kaiser Family Foundation November 2015 Fact Sheet: The Global HIV/AIDS Epidemic